What is a good friend? There is not an exact definition for it. Just like love, friendship too is inexplicable and relative. For every person friendship is a different concept. In the end though, we all want a bunch of good friends, friends whom we can trust completely, depend upon, share our secrets to and enjoy our lives with. “Making a million friends is not a miracle, miracle is to make a friend who will stand by you, when millions are against you”. This quote perhaps defines a good friend in the true sense. Good friends are those who stay with you like a strong wall, upon whom you can always lean over, without any fears. Yes, in this world, it is difficult, in fact seemingly impossible to find such a companion, though, such friends do exist. We only need to open our eyes to find them out and put in some faithful efforts to keep up that friendship forever. Below is a list of ten Signs Of A Good Friend, that will help you identify who out of your bunch of friends, is a real/blue/true/good friend.
A good friend is naturally someone you feel connected to. You may be poles apart, in nature, thoughts, values, background, but still feel connected. This is a result of understanding and love that you feel for a friend. A good friend makes adjustments for you to be comfortable with them. It is about understanding your differences. Just like with a partner, one needs to make certain adjustments to survive, for good friendship to build too, there is a requirement of making some adjustments. There is a thin line between changing yourself and adjusting yourself. Real friends always realize this. It does not require you to alter your natural self, but you on your own try to adjust a little according to them, when they are around. This is out of no obligation but love and concern that are an outcome of genuine friendship.
9. Happy in your success
A very integral factor in a good friendship is the fact that a good friend is the one who finds his happiness in you happiness. A good friend is not different from your parents, siblings, family members and teachers when it comes to you success. Like these people always rejoice in your success, a good friend too finds your success to be a reason to celebrate. There is no question of jealousy in real friendship in terms of success. There are few people who will be able to appreciate your accomplishments, but ironically only those few are your real friends. Real friendship has care and consideration as its natural attributes. They naturally are considerate to your happiness and feel necessarily good when they see you cheerful and booming.
Space is another significant sing of a healthy friendship. A good friend will always be open to your making new friends. There is no room for insecurity or jealousy in true friendship. Infact good friends always understand that you have an individual social life and you are not bound to only one friend but free to meet new people, make friends and bond with others. When friendship is true, there is a silent trust and understanding of such things. True friends actually try to bond with other friends that you have.
Friendship is one of those relationships that give most warmth. A good friend therefore is always comforting and understanding. Good friends don’t leave you in distress, rather comfort you with their company and make you feel happier. There is always certain warmness in laying your head on their shoulder, holding their hand and speaking out your heart to them. A true friend will comfort you with their words, their presence and support always. Friends are those with whom you don’t have any kind of awkwardness in sharing anything, or doing anything, those who accept you completely the way you are, those who know how you really are and in front of whom you don’t need to pretend or fake anything about you. All this is a result of the warmth of a true companion that makes one comfortable in exactly what they are.
6. There in sad times
Another major trait of a good friend is that they are there in your sad times. It is a universally accepted fact that, ‘we know who our friends are only when bad times befall us’. A true friend is not the one who will celebrate with you, but the one who sticks up with you in the worst phases of your life. Yes, they are rare, and so is true friendship. A good friend understands their role in your negative times and comforts you, warms you, and helps you overcome the sadness. It is not essential that they provide you with solutions, but good friends essentially stay with you in your problems.
Friendship requires understanding. Its role is like of salt in food. Unless there is understanding, there is no friendship. Good friends, apart from all other things, understand you well. This understanding ofcourse builds over a period of time and is both sided. It needs to be worked upon and desired. Only when two people are ready to let go their differences, keep things sorted, and appreciate each other for what they are can understanding build and good friendship bloom. Understanding is crucial to a good friend. When you find a friend who understands you well, knows you totally and willingly accepts you with all your faults, you know you have a good friend.
One major characteristic that can help you identify your set of true friends is acceptability. A real friend is acceptable of everything, ranging from how you are, how you think, what you do, where you belong to, who you are friends with, and so on. A real friend is not critical of you for anything that comes to you naturally, i.e. they don’t just say but act like a friend, by not criticizing you behind your back, accepting everything about you and knowing you head to toe. Friendship is the other name of acceptability. Two people when say they are friends, itself implies that they understand each other, identify their differences, and still accept each other lovingly and gratefully exactly how they are.
3. Points out your mistakes genuinely
A true friend is not the one who will flatter you always, but the one who lets you know you faults straight away. They will not backbite you, neither compliant of your behavior, but directly tell you, talk to you and make you aware of what they think of you. Good friends are courageous enough to keep their friendship on stake for your betterment. There is a difference of being critical and being helpful here. Real friends identify your flaws and want to genuinely help you with them, while others only criticize it. This can be identified in their way of approaching your faults. True friends will talk to you about it, while others will poke them in front of others or behind your back.
Loyalty is one important attribute of a good friend. It is a wide concept in term of friendship as it comes in different forms. A friend should be loyal to you in terms of keeping your secrets, in terms of choosing you over others, in terms of being there in bad times, in terms of not back stabbing you, and so on. Loyalty has various frames in friendship, and all of them are essentially important. A good friend is loyal to you in maximum ways and remains so even in the worst times.
Trust is the fundamental guideline for all relationships. Then how can friendship lag behind? Friendship essentially relies on trust. Until you trust a person, you cannot call them a friend really. Can you? Trust takes time to build, and so does friendship. True friendship is built only after a certain period of time. It is an outcome of many things like support, understanding, helpfulness, love, care and adjustments, and all of them lead to trust, consequently guiding to a healthy friendship. A good friend is the one you can trust completely, depend upon and rely for most things. Trust is essential in building up good friendship, it is like the foundation stone of it. Without trust, good friendship cannot exist.