The parent-child relationship is a very delicate yet a tenacious relationship that can strengthen you and stress you at the same time. It can become really difficult to understand children sometimes as their emotions are immature and impressionable. Children usually react to things and situations spontaneously without putting in much thought and parents have to be very careful and supportive to acquire and understand their children and try developing a healthy relationship. This can be quite a task because of the generation gap that exists between parents and children, but with a lot of understanding and knowledge of their child and an extra effort and care can help anyone in holding the right cord to ensure harmony in theirs as well as their kid’s life.
Children tend to keep few things private and don’t really like invasion of their parents in every other thing. Or the parents can sometimes become so engrossed in their own lives that they don’t find time to get involved in their kids life too. Consequently the relationship between them becomes less open and more tense. The over protective or conservative nature of many parents can also cause children to hide their thoughts and life. But all of this isn’t good for a healthy relationship. So here are 10 things that parents must know about their children to make them feel more secure and not judged upon.
10. Their strengths
Parents can be a mentor and a role model to their children, who keep encouraging them to gain success and everything they wish for. For this parents should be well aware of a child’s strengths so that they know what their kid is good at and how to guide him/her accordingly. Knowing about the strengths of their children also gives the parents a confidence to choose what will be beneficial for their child.
9. Their weaknesses
To improve oneself, one should be wary of not just their capabilities but their weak points too. Parents should also know what their child is weak at, and then only they can think of ways to help their child work upon that weakness in order to turn it into a strong trait. But if they are unaware of the kind of difficulties their child is facing learning one particular subject or playing a sport, they might unintentionally put on a lot of pressure on him/her for not doing well.
8. Their fears
Deep inside we all have some fears and phobias, be it a simple fear of darkness or the fear of rejection, but everyone has something they are not very comfortable with. In overcoming those fears one needs constant love and support or a simple act of encouragement and when we are talking about children it’s nobody but their parents whom they trust the most. Parents can help in overcoming the fears of their children and ensure them that everything will be all right no matter what. For this, they must know what their child fears and how to tackle it.
7. Their dreams
Everyone has their own dreams and ambitions. Pursuing them or not is a whole different story. But there are always few things that one wants to do or something that they want to become. Parents can play a very substantial role in making their child realize his/her dream and motivating them to work for it. Some parents tend to force their own dreams upon their children, like asking them to become a doctor or an engineer while the child wants to become an artist, which is not at all acceptable or advisable. Instead parents should help children in working towards their dreams to achieve what the child wants to. And for this they have to know their dreams first.
6. Their friends circle
This is one vital thing that can strengthen the bond between parents and children, especially very important with teenagers. At the time of hitting puberty a child tends to bend more towards his/her friends and less towards family due to which the parents might get upset or feel side-lined. In order to reduce this gap parents should know about their kid’s friend circle so that they can also talk about them and be a part of their life. It is also very important to know what kind of people your child is spending time with, can they be a negative influence or are helping your child in developing good qualities and becoming a good person. You are not to choose friends for them but should just be well introduced with your child’s friend’s circle.
5. Their partner
Many of you might not agree on it but I personally believe that parents should know who their son or daughter is dating. It is very important, firstly, because parents have a better sense of judgement than we do (be it at any age, they will always be way ahead of us in terms of sensibilities) and secondly because it makes the parent child relationship more frank and friendly and less formal. It rules out the possibility of children having to hide stuff from their parents. It lets the child share what s/he feels and parents can always provide an emotional support whenever needed.
4. Places their kid hangs out at
It’s not about spying and being an intruder in your children’s life but a question of security. In case of any emergency, parents should be knowing the whereabouts of their children so that they are always able to reach them if required. Lying to parents and sneaking out might sound cool to a majority of children but it can also be very dangerous and one should always inform where they are going before leaving the house and stay in a connection even while out of home.
3. Their needs
Children can be very demanding and stubborn and they can give you a hard time screaming in a mall crying for a toy they have got their eyes on. But all they ask for is not an unnecessary demand of new toys and gadgets but it can be something they actually need. Be it a materialistic item like a new cell phone or more vital ones like love and affection. A parent has to be a giver for his/her children and should always know what their kids need and should provide with them with that thing.
2. Their state of mind
For being a parent, one has to be a guardian, a cook, a cleaner, a caretaker, and what not. Not just this but parents also must be very good at reading their child’s mind. Knowing what their child has on his mind, if s/he is suffering from a depression or is feeling low due to any reason, is very important and parents’ have to be very supportive of it. A child’s psychology can be pretty complicated at times. You might be scolding up your child for not eating lunch where s/he is already tensed due to an exam not gone well. This kind of situation leads to heated argument and distress between both parents and children. To avoid this, one must know what exactly is their child going through and how can they help him/her.
1. Their feelings
Many children might not feel very comfortable or easy to tell their parents about their feelings which can be regarding any random thing. They might be feeling sad due to something happened at school or got hurt at something said by the parents only. Whatever be the situation, there should not remain a barrier between the child’s feelings and his/her parents. In order to develop openness in the relation, both of them have to put in efforts to create a bond where the children can easily express their sentiments in front of their parents and parents need to listen to them without judging or challenging their thoughts.