Since the beginning of time, most husbands have been baffled by the question of ‘how to make my wife happy?” Majority of men don’t really know what women want and 50% of the women have been conditioned to not know what they truly desire. There is a popular joke about a 300-something blank paged book named ‘What women want’, which basically indicates that no one really knows what women truly want. A romantic comedy, directed and produced by Nancy Meyers in the year 2000 with the same title, apparently unveils the curious yet complicated mind of women. But I assure you that you do not need to watch any chick flicks or try to read a blank book at all. The answer to the question of ‘how to make your wife happy’ is a simple one and comes in 10 steps. And here they are:
#10: BE A SPENDTHRIFT(only for her)!
Don’t be stingy with your time or money. Spend a good amount of your spare time with your wife. Spoil your wifey in any way you can. Buy her the necklace that she was staring at while window shopping. Buy her the dress that she tried on and loved but put it back on the rack when she saw the price tag. But do not waste money. Enjoy the present and put some away for the future too.
#9: BE HER PRINCE!
As Lari White has wonderfully put into her song titled ‘What a Woman Wants’,
“…What a woman wants is to be treated like a queen
By a man who deserves to be treated like a king
What a woman wants, what keeps her holding on
Is a loving man who understands what a woman wants
Now that ain’t so complicated, baby, you know what to do
Just do unto me like you want to be done to
Put me on a pedestal and I’ll put you on a throne
I bet you’re gonna love what a woman wants…”
Every woman grows up wanting to be a princess. So be her prince! Treat her like your consort. Chivalry is not dead. Opening the door is a gentlemanly way to take care of your lady. When you introduce her to your friends, introduce her with a compliment like “I’d like you to meet my beautiful wife,” or “Here’s my better half”. Let her pick the movie. Or, if you’re playing games, let her choose. She needs to know her opinion counts in your marriage. Taking turns with these simple choices makes it easier to compromise on the bigger choices together. Hold her hand in public. With the reassurance you’re proud she’s yours, she’ll walk a little taller, and smile a little bigger. And let her fly. As her partner, you are in the best position to help her reach her dreams.
#8: NO ABUSE!
This is a pretty obvious one but still it needs to be avowed. Do not abuse your wife in any way. No verbal or physical abuse would make her happy. She is your ‘ardh-angini’, your other half. You should respect her no matter what. Never hurl curse words at her, even if you think she has done something that makes your blood boil. Never ever raise your hand on her. Not only is domestic violence a criminal offence, it is also unethical. Regardless of her reporting you to the cops, you will fall in her eyes forever and soon she will stop loving you. None can love from fear and fear kills love. So guys, be wary. Your offensive behavior will certainly put her off.
#7: WORKING TOGETHER IS SUCCESS!
“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success,” as quoted by Mr. Henry Ford, sharing the household chores with your wife is a great way to make her feel happy. Today, women and men are shoulder to shoulder in all fields including jobs. If your spouse is a working woman, it is grossly unjust for her to do all the household chores alone. You could help her by dividing work equally i.e. if your wife is washing clothes, you could hang them to dry. Or you could singularly take up some tasks like cooking, cleaning the house every day, making the bed every morning and more. Pick up your clothes and place them in the hamper. Your wife should not have to pick up your clothes for you. Clean up your dishes after you eat something. Don’t procrastinate about doing your chores or repairs for your mrs. If she wants you to fix something, fix it as soon as she asks you too. The repair is for your benefit, too, so plan on doing it as soon as possible. Take out the garbage. It’s your job, not hers. And do it every night! The tasks that you take up should not only be the ones that take you outdoors such as fetching milk or grocery shopping. Even if she is a housewife, try to assist her with the mundane everyday tasks. Never undermine her work. Make her feel important as the job of a housewife-cum-mom is almost always tougher than your office job. Your impetus to help her will gradually make her dedicated and devoted to you. It’s a win-win all the way, guys!
#6: BE G.I.F. IN BED – GRATIFYING, INNOVATIVE AND FRESH!
Just about every sexist cliché will tell you that women are hard to please, both in and out of the bedroom. It’s not that women are hard to please; it’s that women know what they want. Unfortunately, not every woman feels entirely comfortable expressing her sexual desires. Some women fear judgment, others are more guarded, and still others are asking in less obvious ways that often go unnoticed. As a husband, you should learn to understand her needs and wants if she cannot spell it out to you. Tell her you love her while making love to her. Be adventurous and keep it fresh in the bedroom. Ask her if she would like to try something new and exciting like chocolate syrup or some other seductively sexy item. Do not make her do anything she in uncomfortable with. Do not have sex with her for only your pleasure. Do it for the mutual satisfaction. Make sure that you’re making love at least once a week, no matter how busy you are. Don’t forget to cuddle with your wife after sex and to tell her how much you love her. She will love you even more and will put in her best efforts to make you happy for as long as eternity. Guys, what more could you want?!
It does not have to be her birthday or Valentine’s Day for you to make it special for your lady! Surprises and smiles go hand-in-hand. Surprise her with little gestures of love. Stick post-its on the bathroom mirror with cute, handwritten, love notes before she goes to take a bath. Write her love letters, focusing on specific things you love about her; the wrinkle in her nose when she laughs or how she finds joy in the little things and slip it in her purse. Surprise her by waking her up in the morning with breakfast in bed. Pick up a bouquet of flowers for her on your way back from work or get a box of chocolates delivered to her in her office. Get home early from work one day and light candles all over the house for a romantic evening. Play your favourite romantic tracks in the background while having dinner. Just because you are married to her now does not mean that the romance has to evaporate. Men mostly feel that because the courting period is over, they do not need to woo their wife anymore. But guys, take heed. In order to keep a relationship from becoming stagnant and stale, one needs to put in their best efforts.
#4: SHOW APPRECIATION!
Make it a habit to thank your wife for every meal she cooks for you. Praise her for the food she packs for your lunch. Be grateful to her for bearing your children and praise her for all she does for them. Express gratefulness for every time she compromises and gives in to your whims of watching a cricket match live on TV while her favorite serial is playing on another channel. Thank her for loving you and taking care of you when you fall ill. Thank her for even the smallest of things like sewing the buttons of your shirt. Thank her for making an honest man out of you. Nothing will make your wife happier than to know that the man i.e. you, for whom she left her parents home and made your ‘house’ into ‘our home’, appreciates everything she does for him.
Communication is of utmost importance in any relationship especially, a husband-wife relationship. Talk face to face a.k.a. tête-à-tête. Have conversation during breakfast and call her during lunch. Women like to have pillow talk. Do not take up phone calls in between. If you are having a disagreement, listen to her point of view before presenting yours (remember ‘ladies first’). When you return from work, do not unload on her about all your day’s problems. But if you are annoyed about something, share with her what it is that is upsetting your mood and listen to her advice. Take the time to talk to your wife about her career and give her advice when necessary. Remember how hard it is to be a wife, a mother, and a career woman all at the same time. Let your wife vent about her job from time to time. She needs your love and support. Listen to what she has to say and tell her what you have to tell her. Your wife will feel happy seeing your genuine interest in her life. So, make it a point to know her, guys.
#2: BE A FRIEND!
Many wives complain that their husbands are bigoted. If you want to make your wife happy, treat her like an equal. Respect the fact that if you have liberties, she should have the same, if not more. Be considerate towards her needs and mood swings. If she is mad at you for something, man up and request for forgiveness for your mistake. And if she has done something wrong, accept her apology. If she’s having a tough week at work, you should make her lunch or drop in with some coffee, and take over the chores at home for a little while. If she’s a stay-at-home mom, remember that this is a full-time job too, and not an easy one. Be sympathetic to her needs and the difficulties of her daily life. Franz Schubert has correctly said “Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” Be a friend first before being a husband. Only then, can you guys really win her faith make her a beatific wife!
#1: HONESTY, LOYALTY AND LOVE!
Is it that hard? In a relationship, honesty and trust must exist. If they don’t, there is no meaning of love. So if you cannot afford to be honest, stay single. Don’t do things behind her back that would hurt her feelings. This would include cheating on her, going to places like stripper bars, or doing illegal substances. Loyalty and honesty means a lot to a wife. She may forgive her husband for any crime he commits, if he is honest with her. Being loyal and faithful to your wife will bring her paramount happiness. Prove that you love her by your actions, not only your words!