Love is a universal emotion. No one, not even a movie villain can claim to not have fallen in love. We love people, inanimate objects, experiences and a whole plethora of things that cannot quite be listed. It is in a mutual love relationship though, that we have to traverse a whole obstacle course of Do’s and Don’ts. A ‘relationship’ after all requires effort and no matter what your age, it is always pertinent to keep in mind few things that one most certainly shouldn’t do in a relationship. You see, love makes us do foolish things, with no thought of consequences as at the time it all seems ‘forever’ and ‘right’. Then comes the break up and regrets begin piling up. This list is of a few things you can avoid regretting by avoiding them all together!
10. Don’t tattoo their name
We know of many celebrities who have tattooed their respective partner’s names, only to have broken up and be surrounded by a frenzy of paparazzi demanding ‘what will you do next’. As we aren’t celebrities, our humiliation may not be public but the cost of laser treatment to remove a tattoo sure pinches the average person. Your body is for you to do with, but a relationship is about two people, and things may not work out as you hope. Trying to ink into permanency something that is transient would just be deluding oneself.
9. Don’t change your facebook ‘relationship status’
With increasing number of relationship being carried out on social media, it is but natural that once we fall in love, it would be the first place to declare our feelings. But nothing puts a damper on a budding romance that a too hasty declaration of love. Wait a while see if both of you are on the same page, before any overt displays of love, Especially on facebook.
8. Don’t give your password
Yes, we know you love each other. And yes we know you have nothing to hide. But there are a set of boundaries and one’s online space is their personal space, which should be respected. My suggestion to couples who want to know if the other is cheating would be to rather than sharing passwords, share time spent on the computer, where if any wishes they can check the partner’s activities in front of them. But quite frankly if you can’t trust your partner then that is quite a red flag for the future of any relationship you both might have. This advice is not restricted to online passwords but also other security information such as your atm pin, etc.
7. Don’t send naked pictures or allow to be photographed
You are in a relationship and it’s but natural that you would have a physical relationship as well. But besides the thrill of being photographed the odds of something going wrong are much higher. We all know of MMS scandals, and it is no doubt that the girl also thought she could trust her partner. This advice is for both boys and girls as the permanency of digital photos combined with the fact that they can be shared easily makes it pertinent for both sexes to show caution.
6. Don’t over think
People might think that the woman often over thinks in the relationship but the reality is that more often than not the one in ‘love’ is more likely to over think things. Every action by the partner is scrutinised and carefully thought over. Though caution is good, realise that love is a journey that doesn’t necessarily follow a script. Every action by your partner may not be what movies tell you it means. Listen and talk to your partner, he/she should be your point of reference not something you read or you friends told you.
5. Don’t Self-blame
As much as we scrutinize the partner’s actions, we criticize our own actions even more. You are in love and many times the flaws of your loved one get eclipsed. . If you don’t want to regret anything, then when in love don’t constantly ‘self-blame’ either. With everything that goes wrong by blaming yourself you will slowly erode your self-esteem and your loved one won’t really love you more for it, in fact you might stop loving yourself as well. And that is more harmful than being single with no romantic partner. Every relationship has bumps along the journey, try to find fault with a situation or incident than blame a person, this way you can focus on bettering the situation or cause of friction. But ultimately never stop loving yourself.
4. Don’t Nag
So you are the strong one in a relationship, more focused, more experienced. Yet, no matter what never let your partner feel like they don’t know how to do something. Or that they are doing it wrong. Say your piece once and then let your partner take the course he/she wishes to take. Don’t constantly nag them about doing something a certain way, respect their way and desires too. Someone who constantly nags you stops being attractive as well. Social myth implies that women are more likely to nag, so women, be careful of your actions. Realize that the more one pushes another, the more you are likely to push them away.
3. Don’t give up all decisions
This is a mistake many partner’s in love make. The idea that one must follow their partner’s wishes because they love them isn’t true. In fact your partner is with you for who you are, so when they ask you for your choice, be confident in giving it. Also blindly following your partner’s decisions will not bode well for your relationship, as it would be unhealthy for you. This often becomes a cause of great regret after a break up, as one feels that they cheated themselves out of a good relationship where both partners are equal and each one’s opinion matters .
2. Don’t be overly attached /clingy
It is quite possible in a relationship that one falls truly ‘in love’ with their partner before the other. The worst thing you can do at this stage is smother your partner with ‘love’. Give them space, let them also realise how special you are to them, in their own time. Constantly calling them, going with them everywhere will just alienate your partner. Our social circle loves to judge our relationships, if you are clingy, then his/her friends are going to put you down in front of your partner. Test your own feelings too by giving yourself alone time. Develop other parts of your personality than just your relationship.
1. Don’t ignore other relationships
Similarly, don’t let your love life become the center of your world and let everything revolve around your partner. When we are in love it is easy to forget everyone else and focus on our one and only, but that is unfair to our friends and family who have been with us longer. One way to avoid being clingy is to spend time with your friends and family. Keeping up other social relationships besides your romantic one is very important as it allows you to be the person you were before the relationship began and develop that part of you, while also letting you enjoy your love life. But most importantly, if your relationship doesn’t work out, and you have alienated your family and friends, you will have no one to depend on. Even when we are in a relationship our friends become our anchors who stop us from doing something extremely stupid or crazy. They are our barometers for right and wrong, so always keep that one ‘safe’ person who maybe your friend, sibling or parent close to you, as your partner can’t always be the only on you depend on.