It’s never easy to let go of things and forgive someone for the harm they have caused you. But if you knew any better, you would realize that having a grudge or feeling hatred towards someone will just destroy you in the process. For instance, imagine that you’re seeking revenge on someone who has harmed you or back stabbed you at your workplace. You spend years undermining, focus on getting him down rather than focusing on your growth, and finally when you look back you might have had minor victories over him but in truth you would have lost your entire self for those cheap pleasures. Here in this article we will discuss how to get rid of that hatred and look at the top ten ways to forgive and forget those you hate.
10. Pray for those who have harmed
Here I don’t mean to say that you should pray to god to take care of the guy for his wrong doing. But rather pray that he realizes his mistake and gets to a better place from where he is right now. Obviously the one who torments you or hurts you is in a worse place himself, so pray that he can get over all his misfortunes and turn into a good man. Not only will this help to forgive him for his wrong doings but also give you a sense of peacefulness to your soul.
9. Show nothing but gratitude to others
Unlike malice that is manifested by the influences of the outside world, happiness is something that is created from within. So in order to be happy, to the core, you need to understand that external happiness from jokes or humor or friends will last as only as long as they are there. After that you’re going to be left alone with your own self to deal with. So focus on showing gratitude to people and be kind even to those who have harmed you. Negate the effects of all that has been done to you with the effect of all those people who have done good things to you.
8. We all have to face the test at some point of time
If someone hurts you don’t break down or lose your own character or personal self for seeking revenge but rather consider the whole process as test. As a wise man once said, the world is not full of rainbows and cheerful unicorns waiting around the corner to grant you your wishes. It is equally distributed with both good and bad people. So if you’re having a tough time with the bunch of unfortunate people consider it as a test of character, or resilience or patience and try to ace the test. This will help you a great deal in easing in to the process of forgetting.
7. Change your perspective
It’s quite easy to be bogged down when facing trouble after trouble or when ending up with a person who feels like someone appointed directly from hell to break your spirit. But don’t let that judge your entire life, always remember that whatever hardship you may be going through is just a phase or part of life that’s eventually going to erode away. After all we don’t live in the 19th century anymore, get out live your life and let time heal all the scars of your past. When you change the perspective in which you see a person, it’s much easier to forgive.
6. Life is a never ending lesson
Hateful people and harmful actions are just part of life, nobody is going to be happy forever. So learn to relish the small things that make you happy and learn from the bad things that have happened in your in your life. Seeing everything as lesson and having a perspective that life is never ending school will surely make the hatred you have for someone much easier to resolve. After all haven’t you had that one teacher in school, that you always wished you can kill but now just happy to see still alive. It’s the same way.
5. Resentment is a poison that never leaves your body
An old proverb clarifies that resentment is a poison that you swallow to kill another person. So essentially having hatred for someone might result in some revenge over that person, but will definitely kill you in the process as well. So drop all the resentment that you have and show kindness. Remember what you sow is what you get, so if you decide to forgive that person and show kindness to him, it’s only going to return back to you in a good way. Choose to do the opposite and you will end up locked up in a feud for years.
4. Forgiving and living happily is the best revenge you can take
Going after someone to take revenge is like if entering in to mud to show the pig how dirty it is. You’re never going to hurt the person back or seek revenge by doing something that you hate in the first place. So why do it? Just live your life happily and smile like you give a damn to anything that’s happening around you. Not only will this make you happy, but will drive the person who hates you insane. And by leading a full satisfied life, you also learn to forget and forgive both yourself and the others for transgressions.
3. Forgive yourself first
Not a lot of people hurt others without any reason. It’s always the cause and effect thing. Unless you have done or said something bad, the chances of provoking someone to hurt you are pretty slim. So first learn to forgive yourself for the stupid things and hateful things that you have done in the past and you will realize how easy it is to forgive others.
2. Don’t build stories
It’s a common tendency for humans build up a large story even with the simplest of inspirations. And if it’s something concerning a person’s emotions or personal life, you can always expect the story to be more dramatic and plausible. But creating stories and reciting it to people to gain sympathy for the wrong doings you have face in your life, will not only make it harder for you to forget them but will only fuel the hatred inside you into a rage. So stop with the stories and forget the facts.
1. Lend a third person’s perspective
Seeing the problem from the third person’s perspective can truly resolve even the biggest conflicts. So stop seeing the problem always from the victim point of view, shift your views to the outside and see what really happened. This will give you a much clearer insight and will make it easier to forgive.