Parents play an inevitable role in child’s life. In every religion one is always taught to respect and obey their parents. They are given an equivalent place to God. They are solely responsible for the upbringing of their offspring. But there are many heartbroken and hurt people to whom these are mere literary lines written. Only the few unlucky ones are aware of the other, brutal side of parenting which involves physical as well as emotional abuse and in the worst case, sexual abuse. A child going through such abuse shrivels from inside.They always seek for love and affection from their parents. It is very difficult for them to survive in such situation.
There are 2 types of abuses, emotional and physical. Typically, abusers are mean. They feel great by putting you down, and that’s the only reason they do it. It may be true that someone who is abusive was also abused . Abuses invoke mental disease like high blood pressure, depression etc. It’s wise on our side to safeguard ourselves up to some extent against such abuse. For those who want to get rid of the mental trauma they are going through, here is something to help:
10. Stay Calm
Although this is the last point but it is important to take care of it. It is about maintaining your will power and not losing your individuality. Always trust your own judgment. Always try to stay calm and positive. Learn to console yourself. Never ever get indulged in an argument with your parent. Don’t answer back or scream at them, it may provoke them to turn violent. Just try to ignore as much as possible. You can take help of yoga or meditation to keep yourself calm and maintain your inner strength.
9. Don’t Spark the Fuel
Identify the situations which provokes your parent to turn violent and try your level best to avoid them. Notice the pattern of the abuse to find out triggers. Don’t indulge in issues that trigger their temper. Search a medium of escape, maybe your bedroom, a friend’s house or a library. This way you will be able to detach yourself from depressing scenario of your house. It would lessen the frequency of abuse up to some extent.
8. Shield Yourself
In case of attacks always try to protect yourself. Search for some safe place in your house; seek shelter there when attacked. If this is not possible then try to defend yourself by putting your hands over your face or with similar gestures. Although try to avoid this option as its consequences may differ from person to person. Some typical abusers might get annoyed with such reflexes. You understand your situation much better than anyone else. Stay Safe!
7. Talk to your Parent
After all they are your parents. If you have slightest of feeling that your parent are not among typical abusers, it’s just that sometimes their anger overcomes their sensibility and they turn violent, then this attempt might serve a boon to you. If not then also it’s worth giving a try. Go to them at an appropriate time, when they are not busy in work and they are in good mood. You can also choose a public place like restaurant, park or anywhere else. Talk to them calmly. Let them know that how depressed you are and sad you feel after such incidents. Keep in mind that you are also setting yourself up for the possibility of more abuse from your parents if they’re among those typical sick abusers.
6. Stay Cheerful
If you are a student, work hard in your studies, improve your grades and if you are working, plan to move on. Do the things which make you happy. Make future plans for yourself. Remember every night is followed by a sun rise, soon you will be able to put full stop to your misery. Try to be relaxed. Trust yourself and your fate.
5. Stay Strong
Don’t cry in front of your parent. Typical abusers solely aim at putting you down. It makes them feel good to see you depressed. They will continue to abuse you, if you emotionally break down in front of them. You can also share your feelings with your siblings or someone you can rely upon. You can cry in front of them, crying releases the mental stress to some extent.
4. Share your Pain
The most successful cure to this pain is support. Look around yourself and seek someone you trust, maybe a teacher, a relative, friend’s parent, a friend or some you can rely upon. You can also join community of similar people on net. You can share your feelings there, keeping your identity anonymous. Let them know that you are abused; even if they are not able to help you they will give you moral support. If the situation worsens at any point in future they can even serve as your witness on your parents’ denial. It’s harder to stand alone in the battle. Gather some courage and get ready to take foreign help without any hesitation. This will give you moral support as well.
3. Seek professional help if your life is at stake
Always keep your head above the water. If you feel slightest of risk immediately seek professional help. Don’t let your life at stake. It’s not someone else’s liability. Either you can complaint to Child Protective Service (CPS) online or you can also call police by taking help of your relative or someone you trust. Try to avoid this option until the situation is unbearable. It may destroy your family.
2. Get away from abuse
The sad reality is that most of the abusers are typical, there’s nothing you can do to stop them. If this is the case, seek ways to get out of the situation. To get away out of abuse you can consider following options:
- Stay with a relative.
- Stay with a friend
- Apply for boarding school
- Apply for scholarship to deal with financial issues.
If the abuse doesn’t stop, all you can do is get out of that house!
1. Don’t lose hope on yourself
This is the one thing you should always keep in mind while dealing with abusive parents. It is really painful to be brought up by the parents who are indifferent to your feeling but it’s not your fault. It has nothing to do with you. It’s your fate. If it was in your hand you would have chosen the best but there is nothing you can do to it. Always keep in mind that your future is in your hand. Every accomplishment starts with a decision to try.
“That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” – Friedrich Nietzsche