“Beauty is a gift from god!”- Aristotle
How many of us are ready to believe the above? All the strong independent women there, are you ready to leave it on god? The response is so familiar: What? NO! Not at all! I will do everything to look the best.
That’s the spirit LADIES. And so goes all sort of weird and weirder beauty regimes to attain the coveted remark: ‘Wow! You look beautiful!’ Some started to be in practice from the days our grannies were basking in the glory of being young and beautiful and some are a by-product of we crazy ladies who would never give up on our quest to become “Beautiful”. There are abundant weird beauty regimes of our celebrities from blood facial to kitty litter exfoliation. Don’t worry, I will tell you “mango people’s” weird regimes.
Let’s see how we and our peers are trying to look good:
10. FULL CREAM MILK
The moment we hear the term “full-cream”, invisible antennas grow up all over the health conscious ladies! Never mind! We are not here suggesting you to consume it *sigh*. You can apply it all over your skin post waxing or shaving. It reduces the irritation and redness. Whoa! Can’t believe that how this devil (full-cream milk) turned into an angel in disguise (anti-inflammatory)? Well, scientifically speaking, milk contains fat which has a high pH value being a base. Hence it acts as a soothing agent. All doubts cleared? Now get set go.
9. BEACH SAND
Now don’t stare at me like that. I am sane and not joking. Yes! Yes! The last time you visited a beach or many of you might be living nearby to them, (I envy you! *rolling my eyes* ) I know, you loved being there and making those sandcastles, hearts, names and all crap with that beach sand. Well, time to be a bit focused ladies. Stop fiddling with this sand. Collect it. Yes! It acts as an exceptional method for exfoliating your legs. Rub the damp sand on the entire length of your leg, and rinse. Rub, rinse, rub, rinse. Wait! Don’t overdo it. And yes do moisturize your skin generously post it. (Else don’t blame me for inflammation). All lovely ladies, start making your legs lovelier.
8. HOT SHOWER
Hot shower! Now stop gaping at me like that. I might sound ridiculous but hot shower can work wonder on the make-up you apply. It helps to fix the make-up and make your skin look dewy and fresh. WOW! Before you counter me, let me tell you that this is applicable for only water-resistant make-ups. Make sure you have it! So, Dab on your make-up and get a bath. Jeez! That sounds like the whole regime upside down. Never mind!
7. LIP GLOSS
Lip gloss! You must be having a perception that now I am going to tell you something sane and sensible. Well that was never the deal. Let me make it wackier. I am going to use it to make your eyes more attractive. How many times it happened that you were asked to rush to a party right from your office? And your eyes needed some work on it. Make it more attractive by using the lip gloss you dab the whole day on your lips. Dab in on your eyelids and get that diva glossy look. No eye shadows, no glitter, the same old friend, lip gloss! Now stop thanking me for this tip, and start looking glossier ladies *wink wink*.
6. FABRIC SOFTENER
Stop! Stop! I know by now, you would be already thinking I am high or out of my senses, but I speak the truth my dear ladies. Yes the fabric softener you pour down to make all your sophisticated over-priced outfits soft and delicate, can make you more beautiful. Trust me once again! It acts as a wonderful leave-on conditioner. It softens your hair and leaves it with the smell you keep on sniffing from your clothes. *I caught you*. PRECAUTION: It’s very strong as it is made for your clothes.. (Of course I respect your hair!). So dilute it. Half-cup softener with one cup water would do. Now go try and send me gifts if it works. *giggles*
5. BAKING SODA
Before you shout at me for not sparing even your favorite baking ingredient, let me speak. How many times you whine in despair when your nail retains that pink or red tinge post trying to remove nail paint. Baking soda comes to your rescue. Dip a lemon wedge into it and rub it on your nails. Wahoo! The crystal white nails you always dream of are here. The only side-effect…it stings when you apply. Ehhh! Ouch! Enough of sound ladies. No pain, no gain! Let’s try Women.
I know by now you have already certified me as an eccentric case. But, wait! What is the worst thing you see on your face few hours before a party? A pimple! It sends shivers all over your body. Isn’t? I have a solution for quick-fixing your pimple. Using toothpaste over your pimple will dry it out and can fix it over a short period of time. Caution: It is not a permanent solution. But works brilliantly for a short period of time. Renowned celebrities like Amanda Seifried and Jennifer Love Hewitt vows with this tip.
Now don’t give me this wtf look. You trusted me till this, trust me a few points more. Yes! Tea bags can abolish that puffiness your skin under the eye gets post a late-night sleep. Often late-night works or parties are a must to attend ones. And being a lady, you are expected to look perfect the next day. *sighs* Stop whining and keep two tea bags in your fridge the night before. Is that tough? Of course not! Next morning all you need is 5 minutes and one pair of legs and hands to put those tea bags over your eyes. Whoosh! The tannin which these tea bags contain will do its job while you wait to look beautiful. Oh yes! Beautiful!
Oh my god! The horrified expressions of you ladies are so predictable by now. Calm down! I speak for your good people. *angel look* Hmm…So what’s up with this digene or any other anti-acid, the savior for us, Indians, after those fiery samosas? Well it’s going to save you once more. It will save your skin as it contains an anti-bacterial agent. I am not kidding. Seriously! Smoothen some digene over your face and let it dry for 20 minutes and then wash it off. It tightens your skin, clear the clogged pores and dry out zits! However it dries your skin. So moisturize your skin properly post it. Now go and have “Digene facial” ladies.
1. APPLE-CIDER VINEGAR
Yes! The good old vinegar that occupies as a regular member on your kitchen shelf is a magic wand when it comes to beauty regime. So, spare some vinegar post dipping those onions rings and listen to me. When applied with water on the skin, it can act as a skin toner. Similarly, pour a few cups of vinegar in your bath tub post exposing yourself carelessly in the sun. It can save you from sunburn. And best of all, rinse your hair for the very last time with a generous amount of vinegar and water mixed. Trust me! It adds shine and will make your hair bouncier. Whoa! Vinegar can serve both our Skin and hair. Can’t ask for more, isn’t it ladies? Pay due regard to this thing and start abiding by this tip.
Well, here’s the end to all the shock and bewilderment I have caused to you. You must be thanking me and feeling like hugging me by now. I thank you ladies as well for trusting and listening to me. No more talking. Let’s get more beautiful ladies. Yes! We can. *winks*